I had a typical conversation recently with someone about the fact that I live with my mom. Since this topic repeatedly comes up, I thought I would discuss it a little here. My friend thinks that if you are a guy and you live with your mom, “You are a loser”. Apparently, she is not alone in her thinking. I have met many women and a few men that also share the same belief, that a guy living with his mom is a complete loser. Why can’t he be a winner? Why is he really a loser? Why must a man live alone in order to be viewed as successful? The number one reason I got as to why a man must be a loser living with his mom is financial. There is a perception that you do not have a job or if you do have one it must be at pizza hut. They cannot be believe nor understand why a successful man would live with his mom, so rather than asking, “Why do you live with your mom?” There is an automatic assumption that you are a loser with no life. It is sad that we live in a society where it is perfectly acceptable to dump your parents into a nursing home and let someone else deal with them. It is disappointing that people believe it is okay to for someone else to care for your parents, or your sibling for that matter just so it doesn't interfere with your life. One girl I went on a few dates with asked me when I was going to kick my mom out of the house. This girl said she wouldn't stay with a guy that was living with his parents, regardless of his reasons.
So why do I live with my mom? First off, I enjoy my mom’s company. She is funny and interesting to talk with. Second, she is a good role model and I learn many things from her. Lastly, the early part of my life my mom raised me, took care of me, and loved me. Why would I not want to provide for someone that has devoted a large part of their life to my well-being? I want to take care of my mother as she ages. Financially, I can afford to live alone but I choose to live with my mom instead. I have a good job; I own my home and have investment property. I can wash my clothes and cook my own meals. So I can take care of myself. I also understand that women are not looking to be a mother to guy they date. Despite all the good reasons I listed, she still lumps me into the loser group.
I guess something magical happened when I turned 40. Once I turned 40, I stopped giving a shit about how I was being perceived by people. Whereas most may reach that point earlier in life when they really don’t care how outsiders perceive them, it took me many years. It could be because I am tired of explaining why I live with my mom, or it could be because I am genuinely happier and don’t feel the need to explain, discuss or defend my position anymore.
So why do I live with my mom? First off, I enjoy my mom’s company. She is funny and interesting to talk with. Second, she is a good role model and I learn many things from her. Lastly, the early part of my life my mom raised me, took care of me, and loved me. Why would I not want to provide for someone that has devoted a large part of their life to my well-being? I want to take care of my mother as she ages. Financially, I can afford to live alone but I choose to live with my mom instead. I have a good job; I own my home and have investment property. I can wash my clothes and cook my own meals. So I can take care of myself. I also understand that women are not looking to be a mother to guy they date. Despite all the good reasons I listed, she still lumps me into the loser group.
I guess something magical happened when I turned 40. Once I turned 40, I stopped giving a shit about how I was being perceived by people. Whereas most may reach that point earlier in life when they really don’t care how outsiders perceive them, it took me many years. It could be because I am tired of explaining why I live with my mom, or it could be because I am genuinely happier and don’t feel the need to explain, discuss or defend my position anymore.
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