I wanted to post two articles about lying. I thought alot about a conversation i had with someone recently. It didn't make sense what they were telling me. Then i realized, i didn't understand because i was being lied to. At that point i had a choice to make. I could to pretend it didn't matter and exercise forgiveness as i had so many times in the past. Or i could remove myself from the destructive behavior. Actions speak louder than words. If i can't trust you then i don't want to be around you. These articles sum up exactly how i feel.
Why do people lie? Have you ever thought about it?
We lie because we do not trust a person around us with the truth.
For what ever reason.
I lie because I do not care about your feelings.
I would rather lie to you than be honest.
I am afraid the truth might hurt you.
If I tell you the truth you might hurt me.
I am more important than you are.
What I want is more important than what we want.
What I want is more important than what you want.
Do you want to spend your life with someone you cannot trust to be truthful with you? What happens to a marriage when one spouse lies? Can you trust someone when you know they are telling you lies?
A person that lies stands for nothing! Their words mean nothing! A person who lies to look better does not accomplish that task, ever. A person who will lie with words also lies in actions. When someone does not keep their word they live a lie.
Actions speak louder than words.
All relationships in life; Let me repeat - All relationships in life work out best if they are based upon a foundation of honesty, trust, respect and loyalty. The relationship is not strong if two people come together to live their own lives without regard to the values of the other person in their life. You protect those you love. You want the best for them. You want them to be their best.
We make sure they are taken care of it they are sick or hurt. We make sure they have a roof over their head. We make sure they are happy. We make sure that we think of them and how they feel before we do anything. And it is even better still with they do the same for us.
When we love someone and they love us, they will do whatever it takes to make the relationship work.
Is telling a lie to someone in the best interest of the relationship? What will that person do when they find out the truth? Will they take it harder knowing you lied about it in the first place? Will the person you lie to trust or respect you any more? Will they love you all the more for lying to them?
If you love someone, you do not want to hurt them. You would do anything to make them happy. Why would you lie and risk losing the trust you have built up in your relationship with anyone?
When you love someone you treat him or her with respect. You are honest.
You talk to them and make plans for the future together. You care about their well-being. You do whatever it takes to make that person happy! That special person will do the same for you.
If you find something else is more important to you than that person then you risk that person walking out of your life and finding someone who is worthy of the total commitment they want to have with you.
That special love that spans an entire lifetime is there for any relationship that is based on honesty, respect and other wonderful qualities we should all have. You love someone unconditionally. You can love someone who lies to you... but trust will always be an issue.
It may take a lifetime to work out the bugs in a relationship. Two people can commit to one another for a lifetime. Have you ever stopped to think about what that means?
This is the most important person in my life and I will treat this person that way for the rest of my life.
I cannot think of a single person in the world that likes being lied to. Not one. I cannot think of a single person in the world I respect after they have lied to me. I found out that I am not alone. I do not trust people that lie to me. Nor do I trust anyone that lies to others. If they will lie to a friend of mine they will lie to me.
Love trusts. Lies break that trust. Lies destroy the relationship.
They are destructive and serve no good purpose. Lies just have no place in any relationship that a person has and values. It breaks the trust , but it also hurts to think that someone you love so much wants to hurt you like that.
You forgive them, but you don’t trust them and you still hurt. Lies and excuses take a conscious effort to pull off. You have to think up a lie, but the truth rolls off the tongue. You may think you will hurt someone you love with the truth, but that hurt is nothing compared to what a lie can do to someone you love.
If he will lie about that, what else will he lie about? If she will lie about this what else is she lying about? What can I believe? How can I go through life not knowing what to believe?
Do I just blindly believe what I am being told and then act surprised when the truth comes out?
A lie shakes your reality and destroys trust.
That could be why Actions speak louder than words.