Despite those shortcomings of a LDR there are benefits. You get to know your potential mates personality and character first rather than focusing entirely on their physical beauty. You spend the large majority of time learning about the other person’s interests and if you are compatible instead of “wow she has a great ass!” Second, I see this all too often. People complain there are no available great singles in their 5 mile area from their house. Wake up people! Expand your search! Look beyond your front porch! We live in a modern age of travel and communication. You can hop on a plane and reach the other side of the world with relative ease. You can video conference, text and email. Finally if it doesn’t work out, you
don’t have to worry about running into them at your gym or favorite hangout spot; none of those awkward moments of bumping into them unexpectedly.
So at this point you are probably thinking, “Mike you have convinced me that LDRs sound like the best thing invented since warm almond bread, but why don’t they ever work out?” When two people are perpetually apart it takes constant vigilance to resolve conflicts, and to maintain intimacy. It is important that both people stay in constant communication. While dating someone in your own city that may not be the case since you will see each other at the end of the day. In long distance relationships it is extremely important. Again, you are not physically near each other so it important to maintain a sense of normal behavior. And of course like any relationship it could be possible that you are just not compatible for each other. Opposing values, beliefs, or goals are common reasons for failure. Sometimes small misunderstanding can lead to larger
issues. That part is no different from any relationship. So, with good communication and a little patience you can have something special that you were unable to find before in your local grocery produce section. An example of good communication is using ALL forms of technology available to interact such as text, email, phone, video, etc, and not strictly relying on one way as the primary solution. Common goals and interests to share as to what kind of life you expect when together is another area to discuss. Long distance relationships are tough to manage without a goal or end in sight. There has to be a finish line to cross after time spent apart. This is the most important aspect I believe, to have a finish line that both of you can cross together to say, “We did it”. There has to be a solution the two of you can agree upon to actively move towards in order to finally be together.
I have had a few long distance relationships. Although they didn’t end the way we planned, I believe in the end it was worth the time and effort to be a part of their life. I loved them dearly and will carry those warm thoughts with me forever.