I must confess. The last two weeks I have been training twice a day in preparation for races this month. Saturday I will be in a 5k, Sunday a triathlon, another 5k the following Saturday, concluding with a mud run at the U.S. Marine base in Knoxville. I have never entered a race before so I am little nervous they may not let me run barefoot. My sister of all people ran in a 5k race in the Spring. This shocked me to no end as she spoke about it. Her exercising up to that point in life consisted of lifting the lid to a Krispy Kreme Donut box. Apparently she decided to get into shape after she found out John Travolta exercises at her gym. Anyway, I hate to be outdone by her. I love her to death but this aggressive action deserves a quick response before it escalates into something ugly. It is bad enough she won't hit me anymore. We have a ritual that every time I see her she punches me in the stomach. I suppose I let her do it to make up for being a mean brother when we were little. Anyway, last time she was in town she tells me to lift up my shirt, she wants to see my abs. I lift up my shirt, tighten my abs and expect the flurry of child like punches to come at me. She starts laughing and calls me "fatty". She wont even hit me! She says I've gotten too fat and she doesn't want to hurt me! I have never felt so humiliated in my life. So now the tradition is in danger of extinction unless I can get her to hit me the next time we meet.